In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and Most Merciful.
I hope it is okay for me to post in English as I have many non-Malay friends who are keen to know more about ESQ165 and my experience in the recent session for Angkatan 22 (Batch# 22).
The ESQ165 training taught me that it is not possible for one to be a good leader before one knows how to be a good servant. That is why the foundation of this training centers around our spirituality and that as God’s creation, our ultimate aim on this Earth is to serve Him. There were too many moments that touched me thoroughly. Realising how negligent I’ve been in observing my syahadah.
All the sins and promises to do good, forgotten again and again. And despite all this, Allah has given me so much. From the air that I breathe, being alive from one minute to the next. Giving me the chance to earn a living and provide for my loved ones. One realisation struck me more than I could have expected. The understanding that all this while, it is Allah’s love that I’ve been seeking.
For too long, I thought I was beyond forgiveness. My many sins made me think that I could not possibly be good enough for anyone and thus, for the longest time I built a wall around me. Thinking if I couldn’t feel, I would never get hurt. But in doing this, it numbed me to Allah’s love and grace. It blinded me from seeing how He protects and provides for me everyday. T
he ESQ165 training lifted this veil from my heart. I could finally see again, not just with my eyes, but with my entire being. I finally saw how I’ve turned my back on Allah all this while when he is so close to me with every breath I take. Masya Allah! Indeed, I have been blessed.
I now feel a peace I never thought possible. I no longer indulge in self-pity and self-loathing. I see myself for who I truly am, the person I am supposed to be. Not just a mother or a daughter. I am more than my job or any title anyone could ever give me. I am, first and foremost, a humble servant of Allah. And with His grace and will, I will dedicate the rest of my days to upholding the principles I learnt in this training – 1 God, 6 principles, 5-step action plan. Insya-Allah. –
Ummu Ammar ESQ EXECUTIVE ANGKATAN 22 SUMMIT HOTEL, USJ